Time to Say Goodbye
by Misha
Summary: Five years after Phillip's death, Chloe sings a song to help herself say goodbye.


Time to Say Goodbye   
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own either the song "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" or the characters of Days of Our Lives. They both belong to people with a lot more money of me and I'm not making money off this story, so please don't sue me.

_Author's Notes- Okay, this is a depressing Phloe fic set to "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from the Phantom of the Opera. I couldn't resist writing this, though I'll warn you right now it's depressing. It's set along the same lines as "That Night", though not exactly the same. That's all, I hope you like it._

_

* * *

_  
She went to the pier to think, she had ever since she first moved to Salem. There was something about it that helped clear her mind. Still, she rarely went after dark, since _he_ had always warned her against it.

She smiled sadly as she thought of him, it had been a long time since she had allowed herself to really think about him, after all she was with someone else now. And she loved him, she really did, it just didn't compare to her first love. She often wondered if anything ever would.

Her hand went automatically to her throat and the locket that hung there. She wondered why she was wearing it, after all she normally didn't. There were too many memories tied up in it, but tonight she couldn't stop herself from wearing it.

She took in her hands and looked at the engraving on the front: _Phillip and Chloe, forever_.

"I wish." She whispered, allowing tears to fall down her cheeks for the first time in a long time.

It felt good to cry for Phillip, she hadn't in so long. After all, he had been gone five years now, taken from her when they were only nineteen. They had been so young, so in love when a drunk driver had taken his life. And it still hurt, part of her thought that it always would.

Before she realised what was happening she began to sing for the first time since he had died, because when she had lost him she had lost her music. But right now, she **needed** to sing, and the words to the perfect song came to her.

_"You were once my one companion...   
You were all that mattered...   
You were once a friend and father-   
Then my world was shattered..."_

She sang, pouring her heart and soul into it.

How good it felt to sing again, like welcoming back an old friend that had been gone too long.

She closed her eyes, concentrating the song and the way it felt to sing again, to once again lose herself in her music.

_"Wishing you were somehow here again...   
Wishing you were somehow near...   
Sometimes it seemed,   
If I just dreamed,   
Somehow you would be here..."_

It was the perfect song to sing, "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from the Phantom of the Opera, because it was how she felt. Oh, how she wished that Phillip would come back to her.

Even now, she still dreamed about Phillip and about him coming back to her. She knew it would never happen, but it felt good to wish that it would.

_"Wishing I could hear your voice again...   
Knowing that I never would...   
Dreaming of you won't help me to do   
All that you dreamed I could..."_

How she longed to hear his voice, to talk to him one last time. But she knew that she never would, that he was gone and that he wasn't going to come back.

Sometimes, in her dreams of him, she was able to sing again.

For him, it was always for him. Even before she met him, he had been her inspiration, the one person who would love her completely and unconditionally.

No one else ever had or ever would, not even Brady. He loved her, she knew that, but not in the way Phillip had, never in the way Phillip had.

Sometimes, she wondered if he would be disappointed in her for not being able to sing anymore, after all he had believed in her singing more than anyone else, he had had so much faith in her. Faith she wasn't sure she deserved.

_"Passing bells and sculpted angels,   
Cold and monumental,   
Seemed for you the wrong companions-   
You were warm and gentle..."_

As she sang the words, she smiled.

He really had been warm and gentle and so caring and compassionate. His love had truly been the greatest thing she had ever experienced, if only for a short time. He had been such a good person, so caring and giving, so loving.

She often wondered why he had chosen her when he could have anyone he wanted, but for some reason she had never understood, he had wanted _her_. Even now, she wondered why, but she knew that she'd never know the answer, only he had ever known it.

_"Too many years fighting back tears... Why can't the past just die...?"_

She wondered why it hurt so much even now, so many years later. She had spent the last five years trying to let go, willing herself to cry, but she couldn't let go of the pain. She wanted to, she wanted to forget how much losing him hurt, but she wasn't able to.

The past refused to go away, ever day she found herself thinking about him, even though she didn't want to, so she forced herself not to. She forced herself to push the memories away, hoping that would allow to finally escape them.

_"Wishing you were somehow here again...   
Knowing we must say goodbye...   
Try to forgive...   
Teach me to live...   
Give me the strength to try..."_

She needed to live again, she knew that. She had tried for so long to move on after Phillip's death, but even now she wasn't sure if she had ever learnt how to live again after he died.

But now she had to, maybe that was why she was singing now, because it allowed her to say goodbye. She needed to get her life again and she hoped that wherever he was he would help her, because she needed it so much.

_"No more memories,  
No more silent tears...   
No more gazing across the wasted years...   
Help me say goodbye..."_

Those words hit home so much. That was what she needed, to be able to say goodbye. And that's what she was doing, saying goodbye.

After this, she wouldn't let herself wonder what might have been, nor would she stare out the window with unshed tears in her eyes, thinking about him.

She would remember him still, how could she forget? But it would be the good memories, and not all the time. Only once in a while, when something happened that reminded her of him, she would welcome the memories, but she would never seek them out.

He was gone and she had to move on.

_"Help me say goodbye."_

As she sang the last line, tears filed her blue eyes again and she knew that she was finally ready to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, Phillip." She whispered to the water. Hoping that wherever he was, he could hear her. "I'll always love you, but the time has come for me to let go."

She looked at the water for a long moment, remembering all the moments spent with her lost love.

After that, she turned and left, knowing that she had finally said goodbye.

The End


End file.
